Sinister Dexter in DR. MAYBE'S MUSUEM OF DEATH

Here's quick little 2000AD flavored script from the vaults.

This time it's a three page script and it stars Tharg's resident ultra-cool, badass hitmen Sinister Dexter.

This is another script I had published in British 2000AD fanzine Zarjaz back in 2012.

Enjoy...

NOTE TO ARTIST: I’ve included a suggestion for panel layout at the start of each page. This is nothing more than a suggestion to give you a feel for why I’ve paced the dialogue the way I have. I’m not expecting you to use it. Feel free to lay the pages and panels out what ever way you think works best.

 

PAGE ONE

 

Five panels, three rows. Panels one and two are on the top row with more space given to panel one. Panel three has the middle row to itself. Panels four and five are on the bottom row with more space given to panel five. Panel five is an important establishing shot on the page so leave plenty of room for it.

 

1.) We’re on the grounds of some deserted industrial estate at night. The background is dominated by a massive, brick warehouse. It’s got one heavy duty steel door and the lights mounted on it’s walls cast harsh spotlights on the forecourt out front. Parked in the forecourt bathed in one of the spotlights is a 1950s Edsel with the trunk open. FINNY and DEX are dragging JAMES BLOND out of the trunk, and they’re not being too gentle about it.

This is a long range, establishing shot so we don’t need to see anyone too closely – we’ll get a good look at everyone in the coming panels.

 

DEX:

OUT YOU COME BLONDIE, WE’RE HERE.

 

BLOND:

Y’KNOW YOUR TRUNK COULD USE A SPRING CLEAN FELLAS.

 

2.) Close up of James Blond. As his name suggests he’s our handy dandy James Bond analogue. He’s as suave, handsome and dapper as his namesake with a head of coiffed blond hair. He is dressed in the sad remains of a snazzy tuxedo, the jacket is torn, his shirt is un-tucked from his belt and his bowtie hangs undone around his neck. All this is topped with a nasty looking black eye and split lip. Despite all this he’s still smiling a smug, confident smile – makes you kind of want to punch him yourself.

 

BOX:

THE NAME’S BLOND. JAMES BLOND.

 

BOX:

EXCUSE MY LESS THAN STERLING APPEARENCE WON’T YOU, I’M HAVING SOMETHING OF A BAD DAY.

 

BOX:

IT SEEMS THE DELECTABLE MISS HONEY POTTS WITH WHOM I SPENT LAST NIGHT WAS IN THE EMPLOY OF MY ARCH-NEMESIS THE NEFARIOUS DOCTOR MAYBE.

 

3.) Pull back to a wide view. Blond is front and centre facing us. He is flanked on either side by Finny and Dex. Make it old school Sin/Dex – Finny with the shaggy, dreadlock looking hair and Dex looking cool in a sharp suit. Both of the guys are wearing long trench-coats and are unarmed.

The guys are roughly prodding Blond along, ushering him toward the warehouse. Blond is glancing over his shoulder toward them, not appreciating the shoving.

 

BOX:

SHE ‘INCAPACITATED’ WITH HER FEMININE WILES THEN TURNED ME OVER TO THESE TWO NEER-DO-WELLS.

 

BOX:

THE SNAPPY DRESSER IS RAMONE DEXTER –

 

BOX:

- AND HIS DISHEVELLED PAL IS FINNEGAN SINISTER.

 

BOX:

FREELANCERS FROM DOWNLODE, HIRED SPECIALLY TO TAKE CARE OF MY UNTIMELY DEMISE NO DOUBT.

 

4.) We’re inside the dark warehouse looking at the open door. The door is a rectangle of light in the darkness with the silhouette of Dex standing in it. Finny and Blond are behind him just outside the door. Dex is groping inside for the light switch.

 

BLOND:

THIS PLACE LOOKS A LITTLE DOWNMARKET TO BE ONE OF THE DOCTOR’S LAIRS.

 

DEX:

OH THIS ISN’T ONE OF HIS LAIRS - -

 

5.) Pull back for an establishing shot of the inside of the warehouse. The guys are standing just inside the open doorway and we’re looking at them across the warehouse. The space between us and them is dotted with all manner of torture devices. This place has everything from Racks to Iron Maidens, from Guillotines to Gallows. If it kills people in an elaborate, theatrical manner this place has got it. The floors and wall are made of polished marble – like the kind of interior you’d find in a swanky New York museum.

NOTE: Dex’s dialogue here pulls double duty as it’s also the title of the story.

 

DEX:

THIS IS…

 

DEX:

…DOCTOR MAYBE’S MUSEUM OF DEATH!

 

BLOND (small):

WOW.

 

PAGE TWO

 

Five panels. The first three panels can take up the top three quarters of the page with the remaining two panels next to each other underneath. Lay out the first three panels as you wish (maybe slice the top three quarters of the page into three triangular slices), whatever looks best.

 

1.) The guys are venturing further into the museum. Blond is in the lead with Finny and Dex following close behind him but all three of them are looking around wide-eyed and the instruments of flamboyant death surrounding them. In the foreground is rolling conveyor belt. The belt ends abruptly in a whirling, serrated circular saw. Blond is gesturing towards the saw-trap, drawing the Finny and Dex’s attention to it.

The focus of this panel is the circular saw trap but throw whatever implements of death you fancy into the background behind the guys.

 

BLOND:

I KNEW MAYBE WAS OBSSESSED WITH ME BUT THIS….

 

BLOND:

HE’S GOT EVERY DEATH-TRAP ANYONE’S EVER TRIED TO USE ON ME.

 

BLOND:

SCARAMINGER TRIED TO KILL ME WITH THIS THING IN A LUMBERYARD FOUR YEARS AGO!

 

2.) We’re further on into the museum and the guys are gathered around another death-trap. This one’s the famous Bond ‘Groin-laser’. You know the one. There’s a metal table with restraints to hold the hapless victim down as a laser-beam creeps inexorably toward their groin.

 

BLOND:

AND THIS, THIS IS THE GROIN LASER THAT SICKO S.P.O.O.K. AGENT IN CAIRO HAD IN HIS BASEMENT.

 

DEX:

GROIN LASER? REALLY? WHO COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF?

 

3.) Further still into the museum. In the left foreground we’re looking through a large fish tank full of piranha fish. Through the water we can see Finny with his face pressed up against the far side of the tank grinning in at the fish. On the right of the panel Blond and Dex are looking on.

 

FINNY:

COOL, FISHES.

 

BLOND:

PIRANNHA.THAT’S THE TANK FROM BLOFUNG’S MANSION. THOSE NASTY LITTLE BUGGERS WOULD’VE EATEN ME ALIVE IF THEY HADN’T ALREADY FILLED UP ON 005 AND 006.

 

4.) Head and shoulders close up on Blond. He’s trying to look as calm and confident as possible.

 

BLOND:

LOOKS LIKE MAYBE HAS YOU SPOILED FOR CHOICE HERE FELLAS.

 

BLOND:

SO WHAT’S IT TO BE?

 

5.) Close on Finny. He’s smiling, jabbing a thumb back over his shoulder at a closed steel door on the wall behind him. There’s a sing hanging on the door that reads ‘KEEP OUT’.

 

FINNY:

OH WE’RE NOT USING ANY OF THIS OLD JUNK. WE HAD SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN MIND.

 

BLOND (off panel):

DIFFERENT? REALLY? I AM INTRIGUED.

 

FINNY:

IT’S RIGHT THROUGH THERE.

 

PAGE THREE

 

Five panels, four rows. Panels one four and five are page wide with a row to themselves. The second row is divided between panels two and three.

 

1.) We’re in the room beyond the metal door. There’s nothing in here. It’s got a dirt floor and bare, cinder-block walls and a single bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Blond has come through the door and is standing in the centre of the room looking around. He’s perplexed he was expecting some elaborate death-trap of some kind.

 

BLOND:

UM, I DON’T GET IT. THERE’S NOTHING IN HERE.

 

2.) We’re behind Blond as a noise behind him catches his attention. He’s casting a fearful glance back over his shoulder toward us.

 

FINNY (off panel):

YEAH WELL, Y’SEE THE DOC JUST HAD HIS FLOOR RETILED AND HE DIDN’T WANT US GETTING IT ALL BLOODY.

 

BLOND:

BLOODY? WHAT’D YOU - -

 

FX:

CH-CHAK

 

3.) We’re behind Blond, he has turned around to face Finny and Dex. Finny and Dex have both pulled out the shotguns they’ve been hiding in their coats. They’re pumping the pump-action making that satisfying ‘Ch-chak’ noise. Blond has his hands out in a pleading gesture this is not how he wants to go.

 

BLOND:

G-GUNS? YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! WHERE’S THE DRAMA IN THAT? YOU HAVEN’T EVEN REGALED ME WITH MAYBE’S FIENDISH MASTERPLAN YET.

 

FINNY:

SORRY BLONDIE.

 

BLOND:

C’MON GUYS, WOULDN’T YOU RATHER USE SILVERTOE’S HUMAN SMELTING MACHINE OR - OR PAPA SHANGO’S COFFIN OF SNAKES?

 

4.) Close on Finny and Dex as they unload with their shotguns lighting the place up.

 

FINNY:

NOPE. WE’RE OLD SCHOOL.

 

FX:

BLAM!

 

FX:

BLAM!

 

FX:

BLAM!

5.) Pull back for a wider view of the room. In the right foreground Blond’s blood-smeared hand lies dead on the dirt floor in a growing pool of blood. Beyond that we can see Dex and Finny making their way out the door, Dex in front with Finny behind.

 

DEX:

LET’S GO TELL MAYBE IT’S DONE.

 

FINNY:

HERE DEX, WHAT KIND OF SILLY FUNTER KILLS SOMEONE WITH A COFFIN OF SNAKES?

BOX: THE END.